|Frustrated with the deluge of Viagra spam clogging
your inbox? Take control and turn that notorious pairing into a
taste sensation. Available without a doctor's prescription, these
Viagra SPAM recipes are guaranteed to impress and downright
|Viagra SPAM Mousse|
Serve this sophisticated and flavorful mousse with crackers or a nice firm baguette. It's perfect for luncheon with the ladies' bridge club or your next retro cocktail party.
1 envelope unflavored gelatin
3 tablespoons fresh lemon juice (citric acid)
1/4 cup white onion, diced
1/2 cup boiling water
1/2 cup mayonnaise
16 oz. Spam (one 12 oz. can plus 4 oz. or 1/3 of a can)
1/2 teaspoon paprika (preferably Hungarian)
1/2 teaspoon Tabasco sauce (capsaicin)
1 cup heavy cream (high cholesterol levels)
Nonstick spray for mold
|Make the Mousse|
Place single dose of gelatin in blender capsule. Add lemon juice, onion, and boiling water. Cover and blend or centrifuge for 30 seconds. Stop machine, especially if dizziness or other side effects occur. Add mayonnaise, SPAM and seasonings. On high speed, process active ingredients. Pour cream in gradually to prevent drug interactions (if possible, though chute or opening in lid while blender/processor is running). Taste and adjust seasonings.
|Make the Mold|
To make a
Viagra tablet mold, you will
need a paperweight in the shape of a large Viagra pill (available on eBay)
and a plastic container large enough to hold it with at least an inch to
spare on all sides. (We used a 24 oz. container that measured about
7"x7"x3".) Lightly oil the surface of the paperweight or spray with nonstick
cooking spray. Make sure the release agent gets into the lettering.
Pour the Mousse
To remove paperweight from mold, cut away any wax that has formed a "lip" over the edge of the paperweight. Run a sharp, thin knife around the edge of the mold. Invert and press down in the center until the paperweight falls out.
Spray Viagra tablet mold with nonstick cooking spray. Pour mixture into mold. Chill for at least 2 hours or until firmly set, or as directed by your physician. Unmold and return to refrigerator before serving. Erectile dysfunction may occur if mousse remains at room temperature for too long.
|Viagra SPAM Musubi|
We put a new twist on this popular Hawaiian treat. Get an authentic taste of the Islands, now in tablet form.
2 cups uncooked short-grain white rice
2 cups water
Blue food coloring
6 tablespoons rice wine vinegar
1 can (12 ounces) Spam luncheon meat
2 sheest sushi nori (dry seaweed)
1/4 cup soy sauce
1/4 cup brown sugar
|Prepare Sushi Rice|
Rinse uncooked rice until water
is clear. Drain and let sit for 1 hour. Add two cups water and about 8 drops
blue food coloring. Bring to boil, then turn to low heat and simmer covered
for 20 minutes.
Cut Spam into 1/4-inch slices, then use
a cardboard template to cut into Viagra-shaped pieces. Fry Spam in nonstick
skillet until crispy and browned on both sides. If desired, marinate first
in soy sauce and brown sugar mixture.
|Viagra SPAM Tempura|
Elegant yet easy, this Viagra SPAM Tempura wraps the tasty meat in a stiff and crispy blue batter. Have plenty of sauce ready for dipping.
Tempura batter mix
Blue food coloring (inert ingredient)
1 can (12 ounces) Spam
4 cups canola oil
1/4 cup sake (rice ethanol)
1/4 cup sweetened rice wine vinegar (acetic acid)
1/4 cup soy sauce (fermented soy saline solution)
1 cup water
Optional: 1 tablespoon dried bonito flakes
|Prepare the Batter|
Follow directions on tempura
batter package (use as directed by your doctor) to make about 2 cups of
tempura batter. Add blue food coloring while mixing to achieve desired shade
of blue (the coloring has no side effects). Do not overmix batter, or it may
suffer from erectile dysfunction.
|Fry the Tempura|
Heat oil to around 340-370 degrees
F. Use thermometer if possible to monitor oil temperature. (If temperature
remains elevated for more than 24 hours, consult your physician.)
Viagra is a registered trademark of Pfizer Inc. SPAM is a
registered trademark of Hormel Foods Corporation.