And the Boner-head Award Goes To...

Thumbnail image for news-icon.jpgWe have to preface this post with a warning: Do not try this at home, and don't read any further if you're sensitive to penile trauma stories.

So a Laguna Beach couple flags down a police officer, to report a man who had been sitting alone in his vehicle overnight. They had heard moaning earlier, and now he was laying still, with the windows rolled up, in very hot weather. They thought he was dead.

He was in bad shape, passed out and dehydrated, and probably wanted to die - of embarrassment. Once the officer coaxed him out of the car it became apparent he had an ice bag covering his privates. Under that, he was wearing a 2-inch metal cock ring that he couldn't remove, and it was acting like a tourniquet on his dick

A 2-inch ring is a pretty standard size. It can prolong erection by slowing the flow of blood out of the penis. When the dick becomes flaccid, it slips off easily. That's why his next move was not the greatest idea: taking "Superman" Viagra - which is apparently a mix of Cialis and Viagra, making the effects both powerful and long-lasting. How long? At least three days, which was how long ago he had taken the drugs.

The ring biting into his flesh was just prolonging the agony, because blood flowing into his member through the arteries was unable to flow out through the veins, which are closer to the surface and thereby constricted by the ring squeezed around the shaft.

Of course, this is not the first time a guy has found himself in this pickle - the less fortunate have had to have rings removed by sawing or soldering through the metal. When the fire department suggested to our hero that he might be freed by draining the blood from his engorged manhood with a large needle, he became motivated to try to remove it on his own, and managed to slip it off with the help of some KY and head off to the hospital.

So we don't have to tell you this, but for the love of god, don't try this at home.